I’m revising this post on Hexing vs. Healing. It’s only been a year since I first wrote about it but its been a very long year!
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Whenever my Witch status comes up in mixed company, I’m always asked if I cast spells on people. Its always in a joking way with slightly fearful undertones.
My answer is always, “I don’t. It’s bad juju.”
And for the most part, I mean it. I typically don’t cast spells on people. Well, not specific spells, anyway. I send out general well-being, protective and healing spells. In my opinion, those are more like ‘prayers’.
This is my overall stance on spell casting because I believe in free will, life lessons and karma.
My ex-husband, the Idiot, was convinced that I cursed him when his second marriage failed. I didn’t.
I suppose at one time or another, I had wished he would get everything he deserved.
(This may or may not have included heartbreak and despair – however I did not set those parameters, specifically…. I was willing to let Karma decide)
Don’t get me wrong! When we were going through all the ugly shit, I was seriously tempted. However, at the time, I felt like hexing him would subject myself to a lot of negative energy at a time when I was trying to rid myself of it. Besides, he is my kids dad. Whatever happens to him effects my kids. Also, I really liked his 2nd wife. I was happy that he was happy. I was sad, but not surprised, when she left him.
Casting For Others
I’d also like to point out that I do not do spells for people. Unless someone is willing to sit down with me, explain in detail how they feel, what they want, what they want to feel and then walk through every step with me, I won’t even consider it. There would be a lot of counseling and therapy involved becore we ever picked up a wand. Magic is very personal. What you want and what I think you want could be miles apart.
I’m not going to be responsible if the spell doesn’t work exactly like you expect it to.
Because, guess what, magic rarely does.
But that’s besides the point.
“And it harm none, do as ye will”
In the Wiccan Rede there is a line that states, “And it harm none, do as ye will”
This is an incredibly liberating line for new witches. This is especially true for people coming from communities that have been being controlled by religious constraints, social norms, and family dysfunction.
That line gives a person permission to step out of the role that society has imposed upon them. It means you can love the person you want, even if they are the same sex, a different race, or a different religion.
It means you can tattoo your skin or pierce your eyebrow or wear white after Labor Day. “Do as you will” means you can leave a toxic relationship or choose to live with 10 cats.
However, it also means you are free to run a company but you cannot exploit your workers or knowingly pollute the environment. There’s an ethical component to the Rule.
“And it harm none, do as you will” is a great line to hold in your heart and guide your choices when you’re brand new and working to break the chains that kept you from knowing and expressing yourself.
I’ve even incorporated in my child rearing practices. As my kids grew, I made them consider this: “Will hanging out your window with a lighter and a can of hairspray hurt you or someone else? Maybe? Then DON’T DO IT!” *true story*
Most people who find this path develop a lot of righteous anger. They feel they’ve been lied to, manipulated, and controlled. Its normal to be angry; healthy even. However, not all anger should be acted upon, therefore, having that one constraint of ‘harm none’ is like using training wheels as you heal your soul and develop your powers.
If you can’t hex, you can’t heal
So then we come to the old adage that says if a witch can’t hex, they can’t heal.
I feel like this advice is geared more for the seasoned practitioner. I’m talking about the witch that’s been around long enough to heal some of their trauma and dabbled in magic long enough to have a basic understanding of how it works. Not that hexing is more difficult. I just think that it requires more insight, control and definitely more ethics than ‘harm none’.
To put it in context;
Think about sex education. We tell our preschoolers that babies grow in mommy’s bellies.
We tell our school age children that mommy and daddy loved each in a special way <or> the doctor performed a medical procedure and now there’s a baby growing in mommy’s belly.
When our children become teenagers, we teach them all the details of how that baby was created.
We discuss the physical, chemical and emotional steps to creating life. If we’re smart, we tell them how to prevent it.
Teenagers have bodies that are changing and hormones that are surging. They need to know more details about the creation and prevention of creating life. Fortunately, they are mentally and emotionally capable of understanding some of the finer nuances.
The biggest reason for not giving all the emotional, physical and scientific facts to your three year old is that they’re not ready for it. Their brains are not well enough developed to handle the abstract concepts. Therefore, they may find the details frightening and overwhelming.
A new Witch may need to grow a bit before tackling the nuances of hexing vs. healing.
Hexing and Healing?
I feel like the concept isn’t so much that you should hex if your going to heal or that you have to hex if you want to heal.
I believe it refers more to the mechanics of magic.
A witch manipulates energy during the process of making magic. We draw that energy from the earth, from Spirit and from ourselves. We obtain our energy from the food we eat, but also the emotions we feel. The stronger the emotion the more energy we can harness.
Suffice to say, great energy can be harnessed by love, fear, and anger; our strongest emotions.
I think the idea that “you can’t heal if you can’t hex” refers to the ability to harness both the the joys of love and the fire of anger.
One of my first epiphanies:
A long time ago, I was saved by the idea that emotions swing like a pendulum.
I had my first 3 kids with in a 5 year period. I suffered some serious depression in those years. Part of it was situational, part was isolation and a big part was hormones. After my second baby, The Princess, I had the worst postpartum depression ever. I exhibited the serious stereotypical signs of depression; inability to function; I couldn’t eat, sleep, bathe. I had suicidal ideations…the works. Of course no one talked about it back then. Mental illness was still a bit of a stigma.
Eventually my hormones stabilized and life got back to normal….if there is a sense of normal in being 21 with 2 babies.
When I was pregnant with #3 (Peter Pan), I was secretly afraid that I would return to that level of despair. In the process of fearing it, I managed to block all strong emotions. Long story short, by the time he was 18 months, I was 50 pounds overweight, exhausted and numb.
It dawned on me that I couldn’t feel happy because I was too afraid to feel sad. If I wanted to feel the ecstatic joy that I imagined was possible, I had to risk feeling despair again.
I swung back and forth a few years. There were some great emotional highs but I never stayed stuck in the lows. I learned that emotions are temporary if you don’t hold on to them.
This was before I discovered this magical path. It was my first step in taking more control over my own life.
Back to Hexing and Healing
I feel like this piece of advice is best taken in the context of mastering your emotions.
You have to be able to harness your fear and anger. You have to be brave enough to feel happy and fall in love.
The Witch must be able to recognize the emotions, feel them and learn to let go of them if she/he want to work strong magic.
For example, how can I cast a protective circle around the women of Georgia if I really just want to disembowel the Republicans that drafted the ridiculous abortion legislation.
I could use that energy to hex the misogyny if I was so inclined. I will admit, I was sorely tempted…
Instead, I realized that I needed to recognize the anger, feel the anger and let it go effectively BEFORE I attempt to do protective and healing spell work.
If I don’t, my anger and frustration will leach into my good intentions in a passive-aggressive cluster-f*ck that has the potential to hurt the very Sisterhood I’m trying to protect.
The thing is, once you know how to recognize, feel, and release an emotion, you’re only one step away from using it in spell work, whether that’s healing or hexing.
Hexing Spells
Perhaps I should have defined the term, hexing, at the beginning of this post. For anyone who may want more clarity, this is my working definition of hexing: A spell cast upon a person that will limit them or affect them in a negative way, usually cast without their knowledge or approval.
Binding, Banishing, Rebounding and Revenge are all different forms of hexing that can be used to harm another person with the right intention. Although, I have used binding, banishing and rebounding in a positive manner for my own personal growth and protection. The term itself does not define a spell. The intention does.
Binding is a way to metaphysically ‘tie up’ a person to prevent them from doing something you don’t want them to do. Remember the movie, The Craft, when Sarah tries to bind Nancy from doing harm?
We use banishing to get rid of someone. Rebounding is a way of sending all the negative crap then do back on them. “I’m rubber you’re glue, everything you say bounces off of me and sticks to you!”
Revenge is revenge. Revenge could be an eye for an eye or it could be something more petty like imposing someone who insulted your shoes to suffer from itchy feet. We can get pretty creative with revenge spells.
To Hex or Not to Hex
The next question is should we hex? *deep breath* Probably not the petty things. I like to think I’m bigger than most insults. We do, however, have a responsibility to the rest of the world. The witch has always been the wise woman on the margins, the one that tends to the forgotten and dismissed. We heal the hurt and lift the fallen.
Occasionally we’ll come across a situation, a person or people who are doing so much harm that protection spells aren’t enough. You have the right and responsibility to intervene with magic if you so choose.
Best Practice tip:
Take care of yourself first. Get good at processing those emotions. Heal your own trauma and know your triggers. When you feel like you’re fairly stable, then go ahead and do what you’ve got to do.
I’m not here to police anyone and my only suggestion if you choose to hex, is go forth with gusto. No Shame. No Guilt. Don’t doubt yourself. Hex work requires confidence.
In Conclusion
What the old proverb does NOT say is that you have to hex.
This is your practice, this is your life and your choice. If hexing doesn’t feel right than don’t do it. Easy-peasy.
Just the same, you still have to do the emotional work. You do have to process those ‘hexing’ emotions or as I like to call it: Next Level Witch work.
And just because you choose not to hex doesn’t mean you can’t heal. Please do.
The world needs more healers.
Check out these other posts:
There’s no wrong way to Smudge
What you need to know about Poppet Magic before you start practicing
